Click here to read Anything But Simple- Birth Story Part 2
As I laid there paralyzed by fear I looked over at my dear husband sitting next to me with a freighted look in his eyes. My heart was racing as I had no idea what was happening to me, or worse, our unborn son. After what felt like forever the machines stopped beeping and a doctor came into the room. He may have introduced himself but I was so oblivious to what was going on that I couldn’t understand what he was saying right away. “…Your baby isn’t responding well to your contractions. His heart rate is dropping to a dangerously low level; if this continues we’re going to have to take action to get him out right away.” Hold up- I was having contractions? I never felt any cramping or pain like I thought a contraction felt like.
Almost immediately another contraction started and the machine was alarming again. After the doctor looked over what the computer was saying he said, “We need to decide if we should start the induction process or prep you for a cesarean. If we don’t take action now your baby could die.” Once he said those words I felt chills through my body. This wasn’t at all what I had in mind of how our son was going to be born. I originally planned on going into labor, having an epidural and after going through the process delivering my child vaginally. The thought of my stomach being cut open was terrifying. I’ve heard so many things about how rough the recovery of a c-section is; it wasn’t what I wanted at all.
The doctor left the room so Adam and I could discuss our options. I told Adam that I think going with a c-section is best. When I asked him what he thought, he agreed that even though we wanted a vaginal birth, risking Connor’s life isn’t worth it, so a c-section it was. I couldn’t believe my child would be born soon.
After we let the staff know that we would go ahead with the c-section, Adam and I were prepped for what to expect and given scrubs for him and a gown for me. Soon I was rolled away to the room where our baby would be born. As I entered through the doors Adam was told he’d have to wait before he was allowed in, so I went alone without the one person I wanted to be there with me at all times.
The room was bright white- lots of lights in every direction; machines all around the room. In the middle was a metal table. With help the staff had me sit up on it. The anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself and explained how he was going to put my spinal block in. As he prepared the needle to go into my spine my anxiety got the best of me and I was shaking. “Sweetie you need to hold still before we can start the spinal block,” the nurse holding my hand told me. A second nurse held my other hand and I instantly started to feel a bit more comforted.
After the spinal block was in my lower body was going numb. With help I was laid on the table and my gown was taken away. There I was: 9 months pregnant and completely naked as thirteen strangers were preparing me for surgery. Next thing I remember is I wanted to lift my leg so bad, but I couldn’t. Sheets were draped over me separating my view of my stomach, and the anesthesiologist was leaning over me with a breathing mask that soon made me feel woozy.
Finally Adam was let in the room and he immediately was by my side holding my hand. I was delirious with the pain blockers in my system. I had trouble hearing what was going on around me. After what felt like forever I heard a few gasps and awes let out and I heard a tiny little cry. I couldn’t feel my emotions but I started crying anyways. 830PM Connor Dean was born. Our son was brought over so we could see him for a second; he was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
What they say is true- seeing your child for the first time really is love at first sight. All of the pains, tears and scares were worth it to bring him into the world. My baby was ok, he was safe out of his home in my body. As he was cleaned up and weighed, I was able to watch the entire time from a distance. I wanted nothing more than to hold him. Not long after my stomach was put back together my precious boy was laid on my chest as we were rolled into the recovery room. Once we were close to the door I noticed my mother-in-law Liz, who was also our birth photographer, had arrived and was there with her camera snapping pictures as we entered our room. Connor was taken from my chest to finish getting all his newborn testing done on the other side of the room. I laid there feeling exhausted and nauseous but I was in absolute bliss.
After his tests were complete Connor was brought back to me. The nurse encouraged me to try to latch him on. I was so excited yet nervous to attempt to breastfeed. I had no idea what to do but I held him up to my breast and he latched all on his own like he knew just was to do. Our first time nursing was so incredible but was cut short by my fear of dropping him since I felt so weak. I handed him over to his proud grandma. As Adam, Liz and I were talking about Connor’s facial features and who he looks more like, a nurse came into the room. “We need to get the baby down to the NICU right away.”
After one nerve racking experience another one was about to begin.