Before I begin, let me start by saying this month’s blog summary is not going to be like my past posts. In my eight months of blogging, I feel that I’ve hit a wall. The reality of life has really taken over and I feel worn out. With the amount of stress on my shoulders, its totally understandable that I feel this way.
Since my husband and I separated in November, I’ve been tested and pushed to my limits as a person and a parent in ways I never have before. Being a single mother is the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done. Having a partner who is there to help raise your child is something that should never be taken for granted. Connor’s dad is still involved in his life, but not to the extent as he was before. In the past month I’ve gone through experiences where I wonder how the heck did I make it though.
Late one night I went into Connor’s room to nurse him back to sleep. As I picked him up, I noticed that his soft baby skin felt burning hot. I had a gut feeling that I needed to check his temperature right away; sure enough my sweet boy had a fever. The rest of the night Connor kept waking up calling out for me. I had to get up for work in few hours, and as you can guess I spent the rest of the day exhausted. I remember thinking how much easier taking care of a sick baby was with a partner there to support us. My train of thoughts brought me down to a dark, sad place that isn’t easy to get out of. I noticed that being in this place mad everything harder: keeping a good mood, having decent self-esteem and even the motivation to do the things I enjoy, such as blogging.
This isn’t the end of the story though. I found the courage to dig myself out of my place of sadness to restart again for both Connor and I. I spent more time with my family and more time doing things I enjoy. Soon enough I found myself out of my funk and to a sturdy place. Even with heartbreak, life always goes on.
This is what I’ve learned the past few months: YOU are enough. YOU are stronger than your sadness, YOU have the power to get through any of your struggles.
So my friends, I’ll be around more than I have in the last few months. The motivation for my love of writing is coming back to me, and I’m feeling hopeful about February.
Don’t forget, YOU are enough.